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| It Is Not Personal | |
Partners in even the most loving of relationships hurt each
other occasionally. Regardless of the state of your relationship,
it's difficult not to feel deeply wounded when the hurt is coming
from the person who is supposed to love and adore you.
If you want a good way to deal with situations where your
feelings get hurt, here is an idea.
Until you have spoken to your partner at length about a situation
where you got hurt, assume that what happened was not intended to
hurt you. Do it even if you feel deeply hurt. You already know
how to this. Let me show you what I mean.
Let's say you are in the kitchen with your partner, making
dinner or washing dishes. Suddenly a heavy pan falls on your
foot. Your foot is not broken, thank goodness, but you end up in
lots of pain.
Would you immediately assume your partner dropped the pan on
your foot intentionally, to hurt you? Of coarse not. You would
most likely not even know whether your partner dropped the pan
at all or if it fell by itself. You will need to talk to him or
her to find out what happened.
In either case, you would know for sure that even if the pan
was dropped by your partner, it was dropped by accident.
You will end up feeling the pain in your foot, and maybe being
annoyed at your partner. But you will not feel the emotional
pain and distress you would have felt if you thought your
partner did this on purpose to hurt you.
That is exactly how you may want to react in situations that
involve emotional "blows". You may feel hurt, but assume your
partner did not hurt you intentionally.
This shift in thinking will not stop you from feeling the hurt,
but you may stop feeling hurt over the situation being intended
to hurt you - that will be about 50% less pain right there.
(c) Rinatta Paries. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"
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