| Healing Food Addiction |  |
By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Hannah was distressed that, with all the inner work she had
done on herself, she still found herself binge eating.
"There are times when I just can't stop eating. I feel awful after,
but at the time I just want another cookie and another until they
are all gone. Or I'll intend to take a few bites of ice cream out of
the carton and find myself unable to stop until the whole carton is
gone. I just don't get why I'm still doing this! And it seems worse
since I married Roger, even though I really love him. I just can't
figure this out!"
I asked Hannah to tune into the addicted part of her and allow
that part to speak about why she needs to fill up with food.
"Well, sometimes I just feel so empty and alone inside. I just
can't stand it. The food makes me feel so much better. I don't
feel so lonely when I'm eating and filled up. But I don't get why I
feel this way. I'm not alone. I have Roger and he loves me."
"It sounds like you want to eat when you feel alone inside, when
your Inner Child - which is your feeling self - feels alone and
abandoned inside."
"Yes," answered Hannah. "That's exactly what I feel, but I have no
idea how to fill that emptiness and aloneness without food. And
why do I feel alone inside when I'm not alone outside?"
The problem is that most people think that the empty alone
feeling is caused by something outside themselves - such as
not having a partner, feeling rejected by someone, being
unhappy at a job or not having enough money. Yet that is never
what causes inner emptiness and inner aloneness. It is caused
by one thing - not taking loving care of yourself, of your feelings,
of the child within. And we cannot take loving care of ourselves
without having a spiritual source to turn to for love, wisdom,
guidance and strength.
A spiritual source can be God, a Higher Power, a guardian
angel, an inner mentor or teacher, a beloved relative who has
died, or your own Higher Self. We all need a source of guidance
to turn to other than other people or our own mind. Our mind is
limited to our storehouse of beliefs, many of which are false or
no longer supportive of who are now are. Our mind cannot guide
us in what is truly loving to ourselves. It cannot advise us in what
actions support our highest good. So unless we have a source
of wisdom to turn to, we may not know what to do to take loving
care of ourselves.
We will not even open to this Source until our deep desire is to
take loving care of ourselves. As long as we believe it is
someone else's job to fill us up, or that we will get filled up from
work, money, food and so on, we will not take the loving action
we need to take in our own behalf to take care of our Inner Child
and fill ourselves with love.
The first thing I did with Hannah was to help her create, in her
imagination, a spiritual source for her to turn to. When I asked
her to do this, she immediately imagined her grandfather whom
she had dearly loved as a child and who had died when she was
five. She said she had often felt her grandfather around her, but
had never thought to turn to him for help. Now, as she imagined
him holding her and loving her, she began to cry with the joy of
feeling his love for her.
"Hannah, while he is holding you, imagine the child part of you
that wants to overeat. Imagine that you are holding her while your
grandfather is holding you. Ask her how you are treating her that
causes her to feel so empty and alone."
Little Hannah: "The thing you ALWAYS do that I just hate is you
just go along with everything that Roger wants. What he wants
and needs and feels is always more important to you than I am.
You don't speak up for me. Every since we got married, it's like
Roger is supposed to make me happy instead of you making
me happy. I need you to make me happy by taking care of me
instead of taking care of Roger so that Roger will love us. I need
you to love me." (This did not come out all at once - this is a
summary of what the Inner Child eventually said to adult
Hannah).
As Hannah learned to turn to her grandfather for love and
guidance and started to take care of herself instead of giving
herself up to Roger, her binge eating gradually diminished.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of
eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By
You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?",
"Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and "Do I Have To
Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site for a FREE
Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
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