| Grief & Loss |  |
What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy
duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it
the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because,
let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all
those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.
We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level , but how are
we down there where it really counts? You know, that place we call
Grief & Loss, where pain dominates our life, where suffering is the
paramount teacher. This is really difficult, and we know it. We only
go there when we have to and we try hard to escape from it as fast as
possible.
What is necessary here to get through to the end of this process? Is
it simply a matter of toughing it out, or, do we have to dredge and
dig and pummel ourselves in the process? Hard to be sure, isn't it?
All those Gurus that say "do it this way or that way," are they
capable of handling it themselves? As a survivor, in grief, I would
want to know that, wouldn't you? Isn't that the essence of false
advertising? Never having been there yourself? Absolutely! This we
all know without a doubt.
So what is it that we require then to move through this disaster
called Grief & Loss? We seem to know it at some level, don't we? We
seem to know that deep down where our sorrows dwell, there is an
inescapable reality. We have to feel this. Oh yes, it's an ugly
fact, but true nevertheless. We have to feel this pain in order to
exorcise it from our bodies. Yes, we have to feel it and bleed it to
its excruciating maximum so we can learn that this too is survivable.
Isn't that the most important thing in all such activities - to know
where you are at when you finally get to the truth?
This truth I talk about is your truth - that gut-wrenching feeling
when you know you are right. This is your truth and only You can
determine that for yourself. No guru can ever take you there.
Because deep down, you know this is your "house," your well-spring of
inordinate activity. What happens here defines your life, tells you
who you are, and what you have to suffer at times of grief.
Isn't that sad though, to arrive there and find this out? But is it?
Really? Perhaps it's a better thing than you imagined, this place
where truth resides within. Perhaps it's more than you ever bargained
for. How about that for a change of perspective?
These are your lessons after all, to have and to hold, your truths to
be borne. How could you ever have a guru do that for you? No such
luck! You have to do it yourself. But what a fantastic opportunity
to get to know yourself better, to live deep inside while this
grieving process goes on all around you.
Yes, you will survive, you will overcome these tragic effects, because
there is truth there, deep down where you live and that truth will
take you somewhere important, for only you. Because it's Your Truth,
remember, and only you can assess the effects that it will have on you.
So do it! Get down there where it hurts and find out for yourself
what it is that can happen to correct your misperceptions about Life,
Love & Purpose. Yes, you have access to the truth, just as I do, just
as we all do. And these lessons are yours for the taking. Grief and
Loss are but one more avenue to help you get to your very own Truth.
Maurice Turmel PhD is the author of "Parables on Grief & Loss" and
"Parables for a Modern Age." He was a practicing therapist for nearly
25 years, and is now an Author, Speaker and Performing Songwriter, all
on the subject of Personal Growth, Creative Self-Expression and
dealing with Grief & Loss. He can be reached at drmoe@self-helpnow.com
or, through his Website at: http://www.self-helpnow.com.
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