| Do You Experience God? |  |
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Connor, a man in his late 40's, has achieved everything he
ever thought he needed to feel happy and secure. He owns a
successful business, has a wonderful wife and two children,
and a beautiful home. Yet when you look at him, he doesn't
look happy. He looks empty, with no sense of vibrancy about
him.
His wife, Brianna. also has everything she ever wanted - a
husband, children, financial security, successful work and a
beautiful home. When you look at her, you see a person
filled with aliveness and vitality, friendliness and joy.
What is the difference? Why are these two people, each who
have the same outer things, so very different in their
energy? The answer is that Brianna has a strong connection
with God while Connor has no spiritual connection at all.
The longer I've worked as a counselor, the easier it has
become for me to tell the difference between people who know
and experience God and people who don't. It is the
difference between Connor and Brianna. It is the difference
between being full from the inside or inwardly empty.
It's not that Connor doesn't want to experience God. He says
he really wants to. He sees the difference between him and
Brianna and he says he wants what she has. He sees his
parents as empty and he says he doesn't want to end up like
them, with no sense of passion or purpose in their lives.
Yet Connor does not experience God, and the reason is
simple: he places a higher priority on having control over
money, employees, what people think of him, his wife, and
his children than on being a loving human being. He says he
wants to be loving, and the times he is loving he feels
great, but it never lasts because his desire to control is
greater than his desire to be loving. He is afraid if he is
loving to himself and others his business will suffer, he
will have less money, he will lose friends. His ego wounded
self tells him that if he is open and loving, he will be
taken advantage of, and that is the last thing he wants. So
his primary intention is to protect against what he fears
rather than to be loving.
God is love, the spirit of love, the energy of love. That
love is always here for us when we open our heart. Our heart
opens automatically when our intent is to learn what is
loving to ourselves and others rather than protect against
what we fear with our controlling behavior. To know God is
to know Love. To know Love is to know God.
When Brianna looks at Connor with love, Connor feels afraid
and turns away. If he opens to her love, he fears he will be
vulnerable to being hurt. Maybe she won't like what she sees
if he is open and will reject him. Maybe she wants more than
he wants to give. Maybe she just wants to suck the life out
of him like his mother did. Protecting against his fears is
more important to him than being loving and sharing love
with Brianna. Brianna loves Connor but is often lonely with
him because he is afraid to share love with her. Connor
complains that he doesn't feel good a lot of the time - he
feels empty. He avoids his emptiness with food and TV, which
doesn't bring him joy.
Connor complains that he doesn't know how to experience God.
I tell him it's not about how, it"s about intent. When his
deepest desire is to be loving rather than controlling, he
will easily and naturally experience God. It's all about
intent. Our intent is what we have choice over. Our intent
governs how we live, who we choose to be, how we behave. Our
intent to love and learn about love opens our heart to the
experience of God.
If you feel empty, consider that it may be more important to
you to control than to love. If you know others who appear
to be empty, consider that it may be more important to them
to control than to love.
Opening to love does not mean that we will be vulnerable to
being hurt, manipulated, taken advantage of. In fact, the
opposite can happen: in experiencing God, we receive the
wisdom and strength to know what is good or bad for us, what
is right or wrong for us. In opening to God, we discover
what is in our highest good. It is far safer than relying on
our wounded ego self. Opening to the Love that is God
through your intent to learn can bring you the deep sense of
fullness and safety for which your heart and soul have
always yearned.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and
co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me
To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved
By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and
"Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web
site for a FREE Inner Bonding course:
http://www.innerbonding.com or
mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
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